Scientists posit with the loss of a deeply loved one, “When people say, ‘I feel like part of myself is missing,’ this may not be only a metaphor. It may in fact be part of how the brain has encoded that relationship, so the absence of that person is like an amputation rather than simply an additional stressor.”  

Secular scientists have taken an interest in research into the impact of grief on the physical, mental, social, and emotional components of our person. The brain struggles to recognize or understand the permanence of the person’s loss. Science views the period of bereavement as the time needed for a person to learn mentally that the person is permanently absent, and grief is a manifestation that the brain is not ready to acknowledge that permanence, that “amputation”.

The physical manifestations of grief are enhanced cortisol levels, pro-inflammation markers, and a process of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance, after a year. On average, however, there can be significant durational variation among people. Physiological manifestations of grief also include an increased heart rate. Some counsel for the bereaved is provided in deep breathing exercises to reduce anxiety.   

Of interesting parallel is the Biblical acknowledgement for widows and widowers that the amputation phenomenon aligns with the Lord’s view of the marriage covenant as being “one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 beautifully opens to us the first marriage conducted by the Lord Himself: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” He joined Adam and Eve together as one flesh.

The science community’s counsel is beneficial in addressing physical, physiological, and emotional/mental exercises or therapeutic programs to carry a griever through the grieving process. Ultimately, their benefit can only go so far because science will neglect the matter of the critically wounded soul and spirit that the person possesses after such a large loss. Here, the realm of science bifurcates into the realm of Christian counseling.

Christian counseling takes one step further in bringing Scripture as the balm of Gilead to the wounded part of our souls that grieve. A Christian’s grief separates from the unregenerated, unsaved soul’s grief that has no assurance of hope to see the dead once more. In looking at the two types of grief counseling that I researched for this post, I was struck that a hopeless grief is a harder, more futile journey. Sadly, I believe, it is based on a lie that science cannot correct by its atheistic visage. According to conventional science, there is no reassurance that you will ever see your loved one again.

For the Christian, that realization creates empathy and sadness for the person who has not yet laid claim to Christ’s promise of resurrection and restoration in His eternal kingdom, where He will reunite His redeemed ones to be with Him (John 14:1-3). Among the best Scripture promises are:

“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” - Psalm 34:18

“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” (Sermon on the Mount promise)           - Matthew 5:4

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” - Psalm 23:4

“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” - 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

These promises are hopeful for the grief process of this life, but for the Christ believer and follower, our hope in Him extends into eternity with eternal promises like Revelation 21:4, the “Hope Diamond” of Ultimate Promises from our Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient, Transcendent, and Immutable Father in Heaven who created and formed us in the womb and will redeem, sanctify, and glorify after death, transferring us into the Kingdom of the Son He loves: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”

Beyond even these Biblical promises, there is further hope after death. I Thessalonians 4:13-14 is where there is a fork in the road, away from secular, hopeless science with no promise of restoration: “But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.”

And yet again, in John 11:25, we see the Savior’s direct promise of resurrection for all of us who trust Him: “Jesus said unto her, ‘I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live’.” Finally, hope in spite of death itself, lives in Hebrews 2:14-15: “Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil; And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.”

The Promises of Scripture transcend the present life and can be banked, as a guarantee, into all eternity. My prayer, Dear Reader, is that you will see the Transcendent Lord Jesus whose promises go before, during, and after you. In the Now, the Today, you can sing the words of “I Need Thee Every Hour.”

“I need Thee every hour
Most gracious Lord
No tender voice like Thine
Can peace afford

I need Thee, O I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

…

Just as I am
And waiting not
To rid my soul
Of one dark blot

To Thee whose blood
Can cleanse each spot
Oh, Lamb of God
I come, I come

…

He is able
He is able
He is willing
Doubt no more.”

After the death of her husband, Annie Sherwood Hawks, the original writer of this beautiful hymn, had this to say: "I did not understand at first why this hymn had touched the great throbbing heart of humanity. It was not until long after, when the shadow fell over my way, the shadow of a great loss, that I understood something of the comforting power in the words which I had been permitted to give out to others in my hour of sweet serenity and peace."

Grief therapy backed by sound science can be a great help to us all. Yet, in the “shadow of great loss,” it is the comforting power of Christ that ultimately sustains us.

- Kelly-Jo Herwig, Creation Moments

REF.: Scientific American, “How the Brain Copes with Grief,” https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-copes-with-grief/

Check out more from Creation Moments @creationmoments.com/