I’m not a built-in babysitter.
I’m a grandparent, and so are a lot of my friends. There seems to be a common theme, though, when we talk about our grandkids. When they come for a visit, our kids—for whatever reason—stop disciplining them. They let them get into things, run around, and climb on the furniture. What gives? Mom and Dad, can I give you some advice? We’re old. The last thing we want to do is to raise YOUR kids. We want to be grandparents. The kind that say, “It’s okay THIS time. They’re with Grandma and Grandpa.” YOU need to be the one to say, “Please, stay off the pool table” or “Don’t jump on the couch” or “That’s Grandpa’s phone. Put it down.” What does Proverbs say? “A child left undisciplined disgraces its mother” (Proverbs 29:15 NIV).
My adult kids don’t even want to go to church.
This is heartbreaking for just about every Christian parent. We raise our kids to know about God. We talk about Him. But after they graduate from high school, many don’t want anything to do with the church. Why? First, and the most important, the Holy Spirit hasn’t called them yet. But there may be some other reasons. Maybe they haven’t been called because we didn’t actually teach and live out the Gospel in front of them. Did we give them the tools they needed to defend their faith? Or, maybe they never really attended church because they were always in kids’ church? Well, don’t give up. Seeds were planted. Pray the Holy Spirit will make them grow. And, in the meantime, keep encouraging them.
I should get paid for good grades!
Really? You should get paid because you’re doing what you’re supposed to do: learn. Learn things that will not only help you graduate from high school, but get you into college—and ultimately get you a good job to provide for your family. Seriously? I guess you know where I stand on this issue. But I get it. Some kids just aren’t motivated that way. I sure wasn’t. After all, I thought 30 was old. You’re going to have to be the judge of what works best to motivate your kids. Some will thrive, others will struggle no matter what. “That’s not fair, they’re smarter than me” may be the common phrase if you to decide to pay them. Practice 1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Encourage one another and build one another up,” which may be all that’s needed (ESV).
I want to lead my kids in devotions, but I don’t know where to start.
If you’re new to the faith, or you weren’t led by parents who knew how to do it, you need help. And that’s okay. I did. That’s why Keys for Kids Ministries provides a quarterly devotional to help you out. Now, we’ve got something else to not only help you lead your kids—but will encourage them to think about those who need Christ. It’s our new Creature Feature Storytellers. The storyteller is a solar-powered MP3 device, held by a cuddly stuffed animal. It features a complete Bible—and 300+ Keys for Kids devotional stories in audio. When you buy one, you in essence fund Storytellers overseas. Go to https://www.keysforkids.org/Storyteller for more information.
I get sick of it, too. Our kids complain about rules, friends, having to go to school or church. They want this, that, or the other thing and they complain when they don't get something. Or they complain when they do get something because, well, maybe it
Dating. Just the thought of it means different things for different people. What young person doesn’t think about meeting that perfect somebody, in the hopes that they’ll spend the rest of their lives with them? I wanted to date as a teen, and so did most of my kids. But not my youngest. Why? Our beautiful daughter has this motto: “Unless I see myself marrying them, I’m not going out with them.” She also said, “I’m not dating until I’m at least 18.” Since she didn’t plan to marry in high school, she saw no need to date. Well, she’s 18 now and waiting for God to bring that right guy her way. Unusual? Perhaps—but smart. Now, you can order your kids not to date, but it’s better if it’s their idea. Preach it while they’re young.
Complain, Complain. That's All I Hear Anymore
I get sick of it, too. Our kids complain about rules, friends, having to go to school or church. They want this, that, or the other thing and they complain when they don't get something. Or they complain when they do get something because, well, maybe it is the wrong color. Mom and Dad, is this learned behavior? Sometimes. If that is all they are hearing around the house, what do you expect? Maybe we're complaining too much about their attitude. Let's face it, we have the ability to control the mood in our homes. The Bible talks about this, too. Philippians and James both encourage us to do everything without grumbling and complaining. We are called to share Jesus, but who is going to listen if all we do is complain?
I want to say no to my kids, but I can’t.
There are a lot of parents who have a hard time saying yes, but there are a few parents who can’t say no. Neither extremes are good. The first makes life miserable for kids. Think about it. If your mom and dad never let you do anything, what fun would you have in life? But, if you’re a parent who can’t say no? Scripture is pretty clear. Proverbs says if you withhold discipline—and saying no is discipline—you’re actually hating your child. It says discipline actually saves our kids from hell. If you’re having a hard time saying that difficult two-letter word, remember God says no. Discipline won’t only give you peace, but it’ll give you delight as you watch your kids grow in Him.
I don’t want my mom to die! I need her.
This has to be one of the most difficult things to see our kids wrestle with. It’s unfortunate, but when Mom and Dad face cancer, kids immediately fear the worst. We all do. How do we help them cope with this sometimes-debilitating fear? All kids are different, but it’s good to be truthful. It’s also important to be optimistic because God is the Great Physician, right? But as a follower of Christ, we’re told not to be afraid of death. I like what Romans 6:5 says about it: “For if we have been united with [Jesus] in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his” (NIV). Remember, God even uses the bad to bring good—perhaps salvation to your kids. Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
I’m an empty nester, and I’m not liking it.
Your youngest is off to school or on their own. You’re just beside yourself. It’s a lot harder than you thought. The quiet halls of your home are haunting. You miss the hustle and bustle of teenage life, including the drama that goes with it. It’s normal to feel this way. For a lot of parents, we think about how time flew by, the mistakes we made, the time we wasted, or the hurtful words we said. Others of us are just sad because we miss them so much. Suggestions? Remember God is in control and works all things for His good, even our failures. Being a parent is a high calling, but it’s not our only calling. Reassess your life’s mission and enjoy those “prime time” years. Based on “Don’t Get Stuck in the Empty Nest” by Dennis Rainey, FamilyLife.com
I have three kids, but one I just don’t understand.
It seems like in every family there’s one kid that just makes us wonder. Do you know what I’m talking about? You know, maybe you’re a family of extroverts, and little Alex is quiet and in a world all his own. Or, maybe you have a household of intellectuals, but Sophia? She just wants to kick a soccer ball around and HATES school. Or, maybe your son or daughter has a unique way of dressing that’s just a little off. It’s easy for our kids to feel marginalized or unloved. We need to make sure that we’re celebrating their differences, not teasing them because they’re so different. Scripture’s clear—we’re uniquely and wonderfully made. Teaching our kids this helps them feel loved, but also helps them to love others.