I can’t believe it. My child’s a bully.
I know—you’ve raised your kids in a Christian home. You’ve talked to them about treating others like you’d want to be treated, but you get the report from the child’s principal, and you’re floored. I can only imagine the embarrassment. Don’t worry, Mom. It’s okay. They’re young. You can turn this around. First, realize this: maybe your son or daughter has just started to realize that they can use their size to get what they want. Help them realize that’s sin. It’s wrong. Read Bible verses about humility and the fruits of the Spirit. And then help them realize they need to ask those they’ve bullied for forgiveness. Bullying happens at all levels of society. Let’s help our kids understand it, confess it, and correct it.
College is NOT for everybody.
College debt is unbelievable. Do you realize that the average college graduate is starting their career with more than $37,000 worth of debt? And, upon graduation, a lot of them won’t even be able to pay off that debt because of low-paying jobs. While education is a great thing and I totally endorse it, it’s not for everybody. Some young people can fix things, build things, or make things look better—so trade school is better for them. Or, maybe they love caring for people and they can receive training in adult care. Don’t be discouraged if Harvard or even the local college isn’t in the cards for our son or daughter. Encourage them in their gifts. Pray. God has a plan and, with a little help, they’ll figure it out.
“She’s just like you!” Yeah—isn’t that cool?
Many people say my youngest daughter and I are a lot alike. I’m not sure why, but we’re the kind of people who tell it like it is. You don’t typically have to try to figure out what we’re thinking. And, if you ask for our opinion, we’re going to give it to you. You may not like it, but at least you’ll know. While my first reaction to the comment is to smile, it quickly turns to concern because I know she’s going hurt people’s feelings. (I sure have!) Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (ESV). This is something that’s not only going to help in everyday relationships, but family relationships, too. It’s something I have to work on. The truth in love is always preferred.
What are your plans after high school?
I’ve been talking with some parents of a senior in high school whose daughter probably isn’t going to go to college. Why? Well, the grades just aren’t there. Unfortunately, these two individuals were embarrassed and ashamed. And they said as much in front of her. Can you believe it? You say, “I’d never do that.” Have we ever told an embarrassing story about our teen? Have we ever been condescending or disrespectful? You know, we get upset when they do that to us. We may as well hit them in the stomach. And if we don’t get a reaction from our kids when we do it, we’ve probably been doing it too long. Well, change. Ephesians says don’t exasperate our kids—even our nearly adult kids.
At least I don’t need a massage.
That’s what I said as I stood up from my seat on an airplane recently. The three-or-so-year-old little boy sitting behind me decided to be an annoying little troublemaker on my flight from Grand Rapids to Chicago. I wish I could tell you I was patient—I wasn’t. Frustrated, actually. Dad was calmly saying, “Now stop that. Don’t kick the seat. The man isn’t liking you right now.” Then Dad offers him a bagel. “I TOLD YOU I DON’T LIKE BAGELS,” he said. What do you do when a strong-willed child “goes off”? Sometimes there’s not much you can do, but, when one of my kids threw a fit in a public place, the first thing I said was, “Sorry”—then took them to the bathroom. Sometimes stern conversation or other disciplinary action was required. Whatever you do, do it in private and do it in love.
My adult kids are just NOT living for the Lord.
This is tough. There’s nothing more heartbreaking than watching your adult kids fail spiritually. I know first-hand. You feel like a failure, even though you KNOW it’s not your fault. Many of us believe our kids are saved, but just have fallen away. Perhaps, though, we should start treating them and praying for them as we do non-Christians. As we witness to our unsaved friends, we’re not constantly pointing out the sin in their lives. The best way we can lead them to the Savior is to love them. That doesn’t mean condone their behavior—but love them unconditionally. That kind of love is irresistible. If it doesn’t lead your kids back right away, maybe God will deliver your grandkids.
Why can’t I get good grades like Cassie?
Sibling rivalry can be debilitating for kids. They’re constantly reminded by their perceived failure at every report card or sporting event. Frankly, it can be difficult for parents, too. What do I mean? I know a family who has three boys. The first two were top of their class scholastically. But their youngest wasn’t—but excelled on the basketball court and the baseball field. Mom and Dad were beside themselves why Junior didn’t ace every class. Parents, we should never compare our kids. Each one isn’t only unique in appearance and attitude, but in intellect and drive. The way we handle these uniquenesses can be the difference in either encouraging our kids or crushing them. Parents, your testimony as Mom or Dad can point kids to Christ, or push them away.
Video chat apps are endangering kids.
These video chat apps let users video chat with perfect strangers anonymously. To avoid it, don't let your kids have phones. If they do though, learn how to spot these apps. Check their or your mobile device for downloaded apps, browser history or social media links that mention "random chat" or "meet strangers". On iOS, go to Settings, Screen Time, Content and Privacy Restrictions. On Android, just check Settings, Digital Well-being and Parental Controls. Read Proverbs 4:14-15 to your kids: "Do not set foot on the path of the wicked. Avoid it. Do not travel on it." Protecting our kids from harmful online content honors God and keeps them safe.
My daughter just joined a new Christian club in her high school.
Ever since the death of Charlie Kirk, there's been an amazing growth in Christian clubs in high school and college campuses. Students are gathering in groups to read the Word, pray together, and to reach their peers. One ministry says these aren't social clubs, they're mission fields. Why? Kids are searching for hope. Let's encourage our kids to join or start a club. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together." When Christ is the reason for our kids to gather, it strengthens their faith, sharpens or forms their mission, and they have belonging. It's literally taking the gospel into the world.
AI could make school so much easier.
Artificial intelligence is changing education. Some schools permit limited AI use, but most still warn students not to use it to write papers or solve problems for them. That's smart. When kids use AI to avoid the hard work, it's lazy and not honest. You're taking credit for something you didn't do. Colossians 3:23 reminds us, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord." Let's encourage our kids to use AI as a tool for learning, but not cheating. Let's encourage them to pray for wisdom. James 1:5 says, "God gives it generously and to measure everything by scripture." Technology isn't bad, but how we use it reveals who we serve.