Hallo, ek wil graag vra vir gebed. Ek het ñ stupid ding aangevang. Weet ek is verantwoordelik vir my swaarkry nou. Ek het vir ñ persoon ñ persoonlike lening aangegaan wat in ñ hengse krisis was. Hy het beloof on my terug te betaal. Hy het net verdwyn. Regtig net verdwyn. Ek betaal huidig die groot bedrag maandeliks terug en kry regtig baie swaar. Ek is 63 jaar oud en ñ weduwee. Ek besef ek moes dit nie gedoen het nie maar het hom innig jammer gekry.
Ek het vir God gevra om my te vergewe vir wat ek gedoen het. Ek vra ook dat Heilige Gees sal werk in daardie persoon se lewe. Sy siel sal red en laat hy besef wat hy gedoen het was verkeerd. Ek het hom vergewe maar sukkel om myself te vergewe. Elke maand as ek sukkel om deur my maand te kom en myself ontneem van alles wat ek voorhees kon doen word ek so kwaad vir myself.
Ek het gevra by ñ berader vir hulp geestelike hulp. Sy het vir my gese dat die Here my nou straf vir my ongehoorsaamheid en dat ek die gevolge nou dra vir wat ek gedoen het.
Gaan God my nooit help nie? Geestelik sowel as finansieel? Is ek nou verdoem en dan is dit mos nutteloos dat ek daagliks bid dat hy my sal terugbetaal?

Google Translate:
Hello, I would like to ask for prayer. I started a stupid thing. Know I'm responsible for my suffering now. I took out a personal loan for a person who was in a crisis. He promised to pay me back. He just disappeared. Really just disappeared. I currently pay back the large amount monthly and get really very heavy. I'm 63 years old and a widow. I realize I should not have done it but felt deeply sorry for him.
I asked God to forgive me for what I had done. I also ask that Holy Spirit will work in that person's life. His soul will save and make him realize what he did was wrong. I forgave him but struggled to forgive myself. Every month when I struggle to get through my month and deprive myself of everything I could have done beforehand I get so angry with myself.
I asked a counselor for help with spiritual help. She told me that the Lord was now punishing me for my disobedience and that I was now bearing the consequences for what I had done.
Will God never help me? Mentally as well as financially? Am I doomed now and then it is useless for me to pray daily that he will repay me?
Prayed for 3 times
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