Does your teen seem brain-damaged?
-
Proverbs 13:24
Close
-
Proverbs 23:13
Close
Just like adults, kids have bad days, too.
Not too long ago, my daughter had a string of really bad days. Over a short span, she got sick, she fell on a wet floor and hurt her knee, and she made some poor choices that made her life pretty stressful. While two of the issues weren’t her fault, she stated the obvious, "Dad, my life is so stressful." Why God allows these difficult events in our lives, we may never know. But, in my daughter’s life, it was enough to get her to think about her walk with the Lord and why these things were happening to her. She was frustrated. When people we love are going through God’s refining, it’s hard. But be encouraged—God is at work.
When is fear a friend to our kids?
There’s a Proverb that reads: “by the fear of the LORD a man avoids evil” (Proverbs 16:6 RSV). The fear of the Lord is our “awareness that” God is constantly “watching [us in love] and evaluating” our actions, words, and attitudes. When we or our kids are aware that God’s watching us, we’ll be far less likely to sin. This Biblical principle can also work to protect us from it. Encourage those you love—when attacked—to pray out loud to Almighty God to help. Remind yourself that God’s watching everything we do. It can also work when we’re physically attacked. These words can send shivers up the spine of our attacker. Many people have actually seen these words drive people away. The fear of the Lord is a good thing. Quotation from https://www.gotquestions.org/fear-Lord-beginning-wisdom.html
Do we talk politics with our kids?
We’re smack-dab in the middle of a political season in the United States. But, are you openly talking to your kids about our responsibility as Christians—in this fallen world? While many believe Christians are to be “in the world but not of it,” Jesus clearly told us to go INTO the World. In His prayer in John 17:15, He says, “I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one” (ESV). I hope as you train your kids to live in this world, you’ll also help them understand they can make a difference by simply voting. Remember 2 Chronicles 7:14 and pray for revival.
Are you allowing your kids to grow?
Have your teenagers made mistakes? It’s a dumb question, isn’t it? Of course they have—but have you gotten over it? I was sitting on the couch talking with my daughter, asking her what she thought I should talk about next on Parent Minute, so this is her topic. She says, “Why aren’t parents more forgiving? Why won’t parents allow their kids to rebuild the trust they’ve broken more quickly?” You know, she has a point. The Bible is clear. “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14 ESV). “Forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32 ESV). “Encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient” (1 Thessalonians 5:14 ESV). If we think these verses don’t apply to our kids, we gotta think again.
What are you learning from your kids?
There are times when we hope our kids learn valuable lessons. They do something wrong, or they find themselves in situations where they have a decision to make. But, have you ever wondered if God allows your kids to go through situations to teach YOU something? Frankly, I never really thought about that until I started writing these Parent Minute scripts. But as I look back at raising our four kids, I realize that many of the situations that I thought were lessons for my kids were actually lessons for ME. Our family has been through a lot—a few things that I’d rather not necessarily share here—but, as I look back, those moments made me more patient, a better listener, and a prayer warrior. Remember, “all things work together for good” (Romans 8:28 ESV).
Sharing the Gospel with your kids
When was the last time you shared the Gospel with your children? Yes, I realize they hear about Christ all the time in church, but have you taken the time to walk them through the Romans Road? What’s the Romans Road? It’s “a selection of Bible verses…from…Romans that present[s]” God’s plan for salvation (according to Teen Missions International). Sometimes it’s easy to let the church do our work, but we’ve got to do it, too. Start with Romans 3:23: “for all have sinned” (NASB). Then go to Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (KJV). Then turn to hope—Romans 5:8: “But God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us” (NASB). Find the entire Romans Road here: https://www.teenmissions.org/resources/roman-road-to-salvation/
Are you a good example to your kids?
As parents, we’re not perfect. We’re sinful, just like every other human being. But are we good examples to our kids? There are parents who fight in front of kids regularly, but they resolve their fights in front of kids, too, which can be healthy. Other couples won’t fight in front of their kids, but, when they go behind closed doors, the kids know exactly what’s going on because there’s bitterness, anger, and displeasure that are pretty noticeable, which is damaging to kids. Whatever you want your kids to model, you’ve got to practice it yourself. “You can set a bad example in criticizing others,” spending money frivolously, and by being unthankful, unkind, lazy, irresponsible, etc. Titus 2:7 says, “In everything set them an example by doing what is good” (NIV). This Parent Minute is based on “Six Ways Parents Destroy Their Kids Without Trying” by Michael Pearl, NoGreaterJoy.org
How’s your relationship with your grandkids?
I remember quite clearly the times I spent with my paternal and maternal grandparents. One set of grandparents helped me learn to swim, fish, and taught me the importance of helping others, while the other set of grandparents taught me checkers and chess, took me on trips, helped me be creative, and pointed me to Christ each time I talked with them. I lost one of my grandpas when I was in sixth grade. They’re all gone now, but when I became an adult, these amazing people became my confidants and trusted friends. They were so wise. Now, if your relationship with your grandkids is tarnished, FIX it! They need you. They value you, even though they may not admit it. Psalm 103:17: “The LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children” (NIV).
Destroying your kids without even trying!
There are a lot of ways we can do that, isn’t there? The one thing I struggle with? I “express displeasure regularly.”* I don’t want to, but often when I see or hear things that violate our rules, I get upset. Do you sometimes feel like your kids are pushing your buttons on purpose? Seriously, it’s hard, isn’t it? But we need to make sure that we’re not spending the majority of our time criticizing or showing our kids anger or displeasure. Don’t let them suck you in. In my experience, the bad looks and anger “provoke bad attitudes” and more bad decisions. The only way we can change that is “when they find pleasure in” being around us. That’s why Ephesians 6:4 is important: “Fathers, don’t provoke your children to anger.” Remember: “Love is patient and kind.” *This Parent Minute is based on “Six Ways Parents Destroy Their Kids Without Trying” by Michael Pearl, NoGreaterJoy.org
Are we teaching our kids to be moral...or godly?
What kind of kids are you trying to raise? I’m sure most of us would say...both. We all want moral kids who love the Lord, but what are we teaching them that would lead them to the conclusion that they need a Savior no matter HOW good they are? I heard a little girl telling a Sunday school teacher once that she was having a hard time convincing her friend that she needed Christ because her friend behaved better than she did. That’s why we need to teach our kids truth. Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (CSB). Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (KJV). And, “salvation comes from the LORD alone” (Jonah 2:9, NLT).