Are your kids givers, or takers?
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Acts 20:35
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What happened to my kid?
It happens. You wake up one morning and all of a sudden your son or daughter thinks you’ve lost your mind. Over night you went from the smartest person they know to the dumbest person on the planet. How does it happen? Well, it happened to me: my most compliant child—a teenager—now treating me as an outcast. Is it normal? I wish I knew. I’m no expert, but it is pretty common. How should we handle this change? Patience and lots of love. To be honest, I was heartbroken when this happened in our family. But guess what? She’s an adult and has kids of her own now. And guess what? I’m smart again. Trust Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” (NKJV).
My kid is driving me crazy!
Discipline. It’s a part of life if you’re a parent. It’s the tool God created to help form our kids inside and out. Have your kids gotten so out of control that your discipline was done out of anger and not out of love? Yes, the love was—deep down—in there, but was your anger more visible? As parents, we’ve all been frustrated by our kids. When you get to that point of frustration, remember how God views us. He knows, apart from Christ, we won’t want to obey Him. Yet, He lovingly sent His perfect Son to die for us. When your son or daughter makes poor choices and you’re on the edge, remember what God did for you. Hopefully, it’ll help.
I’m NOT wearing that!
As a parent, do you place too much value on the way you look? Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with looking good. But, do we spend too much time shopping for the latest fashions, looking for that perfect hairstyle, or going frantic over that new gray hair or wrinkle? Guess what? Our kids see it. That’s why we shouldn’t be surprised when we hear these familiar words: “I’m not wearing that.” Scripture’s pretty clear about vanity. Psalm 119:37 says, “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways” (ESV). As a parent, what do you value? Fashion or faith? While we may spend time in church, the things we value are displayed in word and deed.
Are you too busy?
So many of us say we’re too busy, but are we? I remember my kids asking me to play games—like throwing a ball or just hanging out together. Often my answer was, “I’d love to, guys, but I’m really busy.” I still have one at home, and I’ve learned from my previous mistakes. I need to make time for my daughter—shooting baskets or just hanging out. If we can’t make time for our kids, how are we going to make time for God? The reality is, when we say we’re too busy, we have priority issues. We value work, television, and hobbies—you name it. Being busy isn’t a spiritual gift—Psalm 46:10: “Be still, and know that I am God” (NIV). When we really know Him, skewed priorities can be corrected quickly.
We’ve met the enemy, and he is us!
If you’ve lived long at all, you know certain kinds of sins tend to run in families. Some struggle with poor work habits, dishonesty, or even legalism. My family? We can be pretty judgmental. We worry a lot. And discouragement comes way too easy. If these generational sinful patterns are left unchecked, we can keep sinning over and over again—just like breathing. Paul had trouble, too. In Romans 7:15, he says, “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (ESV). Let your kids see that you struggle. Ask them to lovingly hold you accountable. And, pray. Accountability, honesty, and the Holy Spirit are the only ways to end these patterns of sinful behavior.
Do I love them if I'm tolerant?
The culture tells our kids that if we're not tolerant, we're not loving, but Scripture calls us to something better. Ephesians 4:15 says that we're to speak the truth in love. Love doesn't excuse sin, it points people to grace. Parents, the most unloving thing that we can do is tell someone their sin is fine, that it's just how God made them. That's not compassion, it's actually abandonment. John 1:14 tells us Jesus came full of grace and truth. He never minimized sin, yet He always offered mercy. We wouldn't tell a sick child that they didn't need a doctor. In the same way, sinners need a savior, Christ alone. Micah 6:8 calls us to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God. Our kids are watching. Will we model truth with grace or anger without hope?
What if THAT happens?
Fear, anxiety, frustration, lack of hope--many adults struggle with it. Guess what? So do our kids. They're struggling with adult-sized stress, school safety, global conflicts, family financial stresses--they feel it. Most of the time, they don't talk to you about it, but they do talk with their friends, and they don't have the tools to help them process it all. Even though you may think you don't, you do. And as Christ followers, we have the Holy Spirit and God's Word, which is the answer to life's frustrations. In Philippians, Paul says "In every situation, take it to God through prayer, petition, with thanksgiving." He says it'll give us understanding and guard our hearts and minds. Sound too easy? Just try it.
Who's teaching our kids?
Kids are using screens for entertainment, not only early in life, but for longer periods of time. YouTube, gaming platforms, AI tools, social media-Who's actually influencing their identity and leading their discipleship? Unfortunately, all this influence is exposing them to adult ideas, distorted truth and unhealthy comparisons. What's the answer? Proverbs 4:23 says, "Guard their hearts." Take back our kids. The fastest way to lose them is to give them away. We do that with zero electronic device screen time discipline. Read books with them, real books, encourage playing outside, using their imagination, having devotions together, talk about them all day long-not just five minutes-and make sure to read the Bible verses. That's what will plant seeds of the Gospel.
How will they remember growing up?
Parents, the way our kids remember home is being formed right now. Psychology tells us kids remember how they felt long before they remember what actually happened. That's why tone, consistency and repentance matter so much. Ephesians 6:4 says, "Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction in the Lord." Discipline matters, yes, but so does gentleness. Correction should be wrapped in love, not frustration. We won't parent perfectly, God knows. Apologize when we're wrong. Show grace when emotions run high. Pray often. God uses imperfect parents to point our kids to a perfect Savior. The story they carry will hopefully lead back to Jesus.
You had a hard life? Not in our family.
Sometimes adult kids remember family history very differently than we do. You may think, "That's not how it happened." Psychology calls this memory reconstruction. Our memories are shaped by emotion, not just facts. Pain can rewrite the story. Scripture calls us to something higher than defending ourselves, though. Proverbs 18:17 reminds us that every story has more than one perspective, and James 1:19 urges us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Parents, we may never agree on the past, but we can choose Christ-like humility in the present. You're not responsible to fix every misunderstanding, but we are called to love well, speak truth gently, and trust God with the outcome. The Lord is faithful to redeem even complicated family stories.