My360 Helper


Why do we ignore ONE commandment?

You’ve heard of the Ten Commandments, right? Don’t have other gods before me. Don’t make idols. Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain. Honor your mom and dad. Don’t murder, commit adultery, steal, lie, or covet. Why do we ignore number four—keeping the Sabbath? Pastor Dave DeSelm wonders too. God rested, and so did Jesus. Why don’t WE? As parents we ma…read more

I just need a break!

Pastor David DeSelm at Fellowship Missionary Church says REST. Do it! We need it. He was speaking at a conference I was at recently. And I thought, “Parents need to hear this.” Question: Did God NEED to rest when he finished creation? NO! But he modeled it for us. And so did Jesus. The work wasn’t done, but Jesus took time away, even facing criticism from His disciples. Is your family busy seven days a week? You NEED a Sabbath—a day where you ask the question, “Do I want to? Or have to?” That day—whatever it is—is a day your family just enjoys each other. Plan it. Prepare for it. And protect it. Use it for fun, to grow spiritually, and rejuvenate. If you do it right, it’ll be a day your family looks forward to.

Are we really free?

Independence Day. It’s a day we as Americans celebrate our freedom Great Britain. While that was a great day in our nation’s history I can’t help but ask the question, are we REALLY free? I remember telling my older sister, “You’re not the boss of me.” There are many who say this in a work environment. Our kids probably say it all the time to their siblings. We need to teach our kids that we are ALL slaves. We’re either slaves to sin or the cross of righteousness. Apart from Christ we claim we’re free to do what we want. In Christ we crave righteousness found in Christ and Scripture alone. While today we celebrate freedom, remind our families we’re slaves to a Master who also calls us His friend and made us heirs. 

Potty mouth—I get sick of it.

You’re taking a tour of a Christian ministry with your kids. Then—out of the mouth of your five-year-old—they say the words that make you cringe. Potty talk. And, it wasn’t just spoken softly, it was yelled at the top of his lungs. You want to just crawl into a hole, don’t you? How do you stop that kind of behavior? The one thing you don’t do is get excited about it because THAT’S the reaction he was looking for. The better response is to ignore it and calmly correct him: “Let’s use something other than potty talk, okay, bud?” Or, “That was a poor choice of words, wasn’t it, buddy? Let’s use better words.” If it continues, though, there are more consequences that should be handled privately.

Idols are more than just chunks of wood.

When we think of idols, many of us think about images of Buddha or what the Bible describes as graven images. According to RadicallyChristian.com, idolatry is “making a good thing an ultimate thing.”* So any created thing can become an idol. Romans 1:25 makes this clear. That means our cars, kids, spouse, boat, CELL PHONE, or anything else can get in the way of us following after God. When it comes to our kids, making our mobile device our idol does more than hinder our relationship with Christ, it affects our kids. Think about it. The more time you spend on your cell phone, the less time you spend with God and, talking, listening, and playing with our kids. It’s behavior that can be imitated and is just plain rude. *This Parent Minute is based in part on “How to Recognize and Get Rid of the Idols in Your Life” by Wes McAdams, RadicallyChristian.com

I’m not phubbing my kids, am I?

“Phubbing.” It’s a term used when you use your cell phone to snub people—according to Katherine Lee at VeryWellFamily.com, parents who are addicted to smartphones and mobile devices are causing relationship issues with our kids.* She says cell phone overuse or addiction actually makes us LESS connected to people, especially our own families. I say “us” and “we” because, well, sometimes I’M too obsessed with my smart phone. As a follower of Christ, are our phones becoming our idols? Think about it. Is it something that is getting in the way of our relationship with God and our family, friends, and colleagues? Suggestion: take time AWAY from our mobile device and ENGAGE with our kids. If we don’t, that unspoken message could be devastating to them. *This Parent Minute is based on part on “Why Too Much Cell Phone Usage Can Hurt Your Family Relationships” by Katherine Lee, VeryWellFamily.com

I’m not saying sorry to my daughter!

Why not? If we wrong our kids, why wouldn’t we want to say, “I’m sorry, would you forgive me?” I witnessed a mother and daughter arguing. The daughter was doing all she could to be respectful. It was clear that she was certain that she wasn’t only correct, but in the right in this situation. The argument got pretty heated until it was discovered that mom was wrong and that her daughter was clearly right. Her daughter didn’t gloat. Didn’t smile antagonistically. She just stopped the conversation. All around expected the mom to at least say she was sorry. Sensing that’s what we were all thinking, she said, “I’m not apologizing to HER.” How sad. What a great opportunity to show our kids what a true apology and humility looks like.

I pray with my kids every night.

That’s great! While most Christian parents understand the need to pray with our kids each night, how many really do it? And when we do, do we do it right? Sometimes it’s easy to fall into a rut of saying maybe the Lord’s Prayer, or maybe praying things like “Be with Susie, Jonnie, Mommy and Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa.” As parents, let’s teach our kids to pray for specific things, following the prayer model Jesus taught His disciples. Let’s have our kids keep a prayer list maybe, pray over each item, and then keep track of how God answers—yes, no, or wait. As we do, we’re showing our kids not only the importance of prayer in our lives, but how much God values it.

Why do you think I’m going to buy you everything?

Probably because you HAVE! That’s one of the things we did with our youngest. We felt bad for her. She was in an orphanage for the first three years of her life. Who doesn’t want to make their child happy? We did. But we quickly had to STOP. She was starting to act entitled. Here’s a suggestion that may help your kids. Make your kids fill out time cards. If they do a chore, write down the time it took. And then at the end of the week, pay them. Then require them to buy the things that they want. If they want designer shoes, they can pay the extra. While many parents are coddling their kids today, you’re teaching responsibility and a great work ethic.

My little kids are afraid of disabled kids.

Sometimes kids are afraid of other kids who are maybe a bit different than they are. That doesn’t mean we should allow them to continue to ignore them. It means that we need to help our kids not just get used to them, but encourage friendships. We shouldn’t be surprised when our kids invest in the lives of these kiddos that it doesn’t only impact their lives, but ours too. Sometimes it requires our kids to give them a little extra help. It may require good listening skills because they don’t speak clearly. Or patience because of their quirkiness. If our kids are befriending someone in a non-Christian family, it can open huge doors for outreach.

“Up North” is my favorite place. Yours?

“Up North.” It really is a place. In Michigan, it’s anywhere NORTH of where you live—usually somewhere in a wooded area or a lake. For me, “Up North” was the family cottage that my grandparents built in 1955 along the shores of Lake Huron. It became a place I loved to visit. It created so many childhood memories. As an adult, it allowed my family to get to know my grandparents in ways they never would have otherwise. It also became a place I heard the Truth of God’s Word regularly. Now, my grandkids say “Up North” is their favorite place. It doesn’t have to be a family cottage. Maybe it’s a campground, a resort, or something else—a place to create memories and spiritual formation.

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