My daughter’s friend is Muslim.
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Luke 19:10
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Matthew 11:19
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Matthew 22:36-40
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We’re just not talking anymore.
Are you finding that your kids spend more time in their room than with you? You know you don’t have to let them do that, right? I know, it’s easier to let them stay there and avoid conflict. But guess what? They need to be out of there talking to you. Make them come out of their room and maybe play some board games or video games. The goal is to create an environment where they open up, and you can share your lives together. It’s not their first choice, but it’s something that they’ll look back on and remember fondly as adults. Make it fun—full of laughter. Let your life be a letter of Christ to your kids. Those lived-out letters will be delivered years down the road.
I’m not a parent, but I love kids!
I have two sisters who have been amazing influences on my kids. I also have friends who never had children of their own, but they, too, have been God-given gifts to young people in our church, or their nieces and nephews. Beth from Arizona isn’t a mom or grandma, but she told me that she’s seen in her own family the tremendous “spiritual, intellectual and developmental impact on” kids in her family. Sometimes as aunts or uncles reinforce something we’re trying to teach our kids, it has more of an impact because it’s coming from somebody other than us. We as parents can “actually leverage these types of relationships to enrich our kids’ lives,” as Beth says—and help them grow in Christ.
It’s time for devotions—just do it!
As Christian parents, who DOESN’T want their kids to be in God’s Word? We WANT to lead our kids in devotions, but kids usually don’t want any part of it. It gets in the way of “fun,” right? Cara asks, “How do I help my kids grow in their personal walk with the Lord without it being a legalistic ‘have to’ read your Bible time?” Family devotions need to be a regular time of being together—not legalistic, just routine. That’s a good pattern and example to set. Personal time in the Word? Challenge them. If a school friend offends them and they’re trying to figure out what to do, say, “I wonder what the Bible says about that? Why don’t you Google it?” Just being on technology may be inspiration enough. The daily Keys for Kids devotional is an easy way to spend time in God's Word with your family every day. Sign up for a free, one year subscription at https://www.keysforkids.org/subscribe
My kid’s always in trouble!
Do you know the difference between punishment and discipline? Yeah, it’s obvious, but the reality is a lot of us parents PUNISH and aren’t actively disciplining our kids. For example, if our son or daughter skips school for the tenth time, out of anger and frustration some of us will look at ways to inflict pain on our teen’s life to “get back” at them, rather than help them feel the weight of their decision and give them a way of redemption, which really is the gospel. Don’t worry. A lot of us have fallen into that trap of “punishment,” which according to Chip Ingram can push our kids to resentment, guilt, shame, bitterness, fear, and more. While the rod and correction are biblical, so are love and restoration. 1Based on “Punishment Versus Discipline” by Chip Ingram, FocusontheFamily.com
Today’s fashions are frustrating. What’s the answer?
I empathize with you. Some of our biggest disagreements with our kids came over clothing. My personal frustration—leggings. Now, I know that women wear them modestly with long sweaters, and that’s okay. But I realize fashion is always a personal choice. And I hope that our choices will be biblically based. Dawn Wilson writes for Crosswalk.com and encourages us to ask1: • “Does my clothing illustrate my surrender to the Lord”? • “Have I focused on my heart, or only my wardrobe?” • Are my clothes “consistent with transformed thinking”? • “Am I practicing modesty”? • “Do I dress with dignity and strength?” “Yes” to these questions can help avoid conflict. 1“7 Things the Bible Says about Your Clothes” by Dawn Wilson, Crosswalk.com
Your kids don’t want to go to church?
Katy says, “We go to Awana and my son does not like memorizing scripture. I think he feels inferior to all the kids that are just rattling off the paragraphs. We talk about hiding God’s word in our heart and he does love reading his Bible, but does not want to even try to memorize even easy verses. It makes him not even want to go Awana.” Memorizing isn’t everybody’s gift. That’s what makes this one hard. Try this. Have him read a simple verse 10 times in a row, like writing spelling words. Then have him put his Bible away. When he comes back repeat the verse—but then say it wrong…or maybe forget the words. Chances are he’s going to correct you. Then praise him for memorizing so well. Catch our kids doing great things. It can be life-changing.
I don’t WANT my picture taken.
As parents, we’ve all been there. You’re trying to get that perfect family picture, but Junior wants NOTHING to do with it. This photo session is just an obstacle in his life preventing him from running, playing with his lightsaber, and teasing the cat. How do you get him to do what YOU want without him knowing it? Here’s what NOT to do. Don’t bribe him—then the only way you can get him to behave is when you give him something. You can make it a contest: “Let’s see who can smile the biggest?” Or, “I bet I can stand still better than you.” But if your little “challenge” isn’t fooled, remember to remind them about disobedience and how that’s sin—sin that can only be cured by Christ alone.
My daughter is so depressed. What do I do?
Depression is a legitimate mental illness, and it’s not something to mess around with. Can you believe 15 million people in the U. S. are affected by it?1 I want you to know that I’m no expert, but there are signs indicating you or your teen may need some help. Many with depression suffer from anxiety, apathy, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest, mood swings, or sadness. Sleep habits are all screwed up. Weird appetite. Emotional mess. If this is you, get some help. Dr. Bruce Hennigan says having “a tendency toward depression” isn’t a sin, but giving into it is2. His suggestions: don’t make any major decisions, stay in God’s Word (even though you don’t want to), and thank God for loving you through it. 1“Depression in Women,” WebMD.com 2“Depression: Reject the Guilt, Embrace the Cure” by Dr. Bruce Hennigan, FocusontheFamily.com Depression symptoms from Mayo Clinic , WebMD, and the National Institute of Mental Health.
I hate the snow! Why can’t we live in Hawaii?
If you live in areas where this time of year is uncomfortable for the cold-blooded, you’ve probably heard something similar from your kids. Here are some suggestions. First, tell them the cold is God’s creation, too. Point out that the snow is actually a picture of salvation. Before it snows, the ground is brown and ugly. But the covering of snow makes everything beautiful, just like Jesus’ blood does for us when He saves us. Then remind them of how good it feels on that first warm day of spring. It wouldn’t be so memorable if it wasn’t for the cold. And, it could always be worse. Yakutsk, Russia—average high temperature in January? -37 degrees. Brr!
I didn’t do it. How is it MY fault?
Have you ever been blamed by your kids for a bad decision THEY made? A friend’s daughter was a natural athlete, but didn’t work at it and eventually lost her spot. Or, another friend’s son never studied for his driver’s test and failed. In both cases, out of frustration, the kids blamed their parents. You know how frustrating it is, right? When kids say things like, “Why didn’t you practice with me?” or “I told you I needed help studying.” It’s not easy, but stay calm and ask, “WHO needed to work on this?” It’s not about placing blame—it’s about taking responsibility. And if our kids can’t own up to their mistakes, how are they going to understand their need of a Savior?